Countering Negative Self-Talk: Dispelling Lies We Tell Ourselves About Ourselves

Updated: Apr 8



Most people have accumulated beliefs about themselves learned through family upbringing, social environment, society-at-large, media, etc. We’ve accepted many of both the good and the bad beliefs as true. The negative beliefs are the ones that block and hinder us. We are our most powerful ally, but we can also be our most skillful adversary. In this exercise, we are concerned with identifying the negative beliefs and taking a step to counter them and replace them with healthy and positive ones.

I want to give you something that will help you along your journey of healing. The following exercise I have found to be personally effective.


The purpose of this exercise is to identify the negative beliefs and self-talk that you have about yourself and start to work to counter and remove them. In actuality, you will be transmuting these negative beliefs to positive ones.


It is quite natural to engage in self-reflection for the purpose of growth and development. Self-reflection identifies areas in need of growth and takes measures towards that growth. That is not what is being idenfitified here. Negative beliefs about ourselves are judgemental and result in defeatism and cynicism. They undermine happiness, thwart progress and delay fulfillment. Working to counter and heal them will remove blockages toward self-development and fulfillment. The following is a simple but effective exercise to identify and begin to address them. From this exercise, you will emerge with a list of personal affirmations that directly target your own negative self-beliefs.

Take a sheet of paper and a pen. Begin to write down any negative belief or idea about yourself that is painful and hurtful. List and number them down the page. Write down as many as you can think of. Even when you think you’ve finished, pause and sit in silence and allow any others that you may have left out to come to the surface. Your internal conversation confirms and roots these beliefs into your subconscious. Your subconscious is an energetic powerhouse and you want to control what goes into in it.

Once you have finished, take another sheet of paper and number it exactly how the first page is numbered. Allow for the same kind of line spacing, maybe a little bit more. Take your first sheet with the negative beliefs and begin with #1, read it. Then take your second sheet and at the #1 spot, write down positive version of what the #1 from the first sheet states. Do this until you reach the last number.

Excellent work! You have just created your very own personalized affirmations. This set of affirmations deals specifically with countering YOUR negative beliefs about yourself and working to free yourself from them. Recite these affirmations now. Having personalized affirmations are more powerful than picking up affirmations from a list somewhere. They are good too, but these target what has been going on in your mind that has been reaffirming you in a negative way.

Take the first list and dispose of it in any way that makes sense. Some people shred and burn the pieces in a fire safe container and let them blow into the wind. Others, toss in the garbage. Whichever way feels right for you, the important thing is to get rid of it. You are moving on from these beliefs and planting new seeds of healing and positivity.

You can make this a ritual exercise by timing it to align with the full moon which is a good time to release unwanted things. However, anytime is good. You don’t have to wait. Light a candle, burn incense or diffuse essential oils (rose, sandlewood, frankincense & myrrh, etc.), deep breathing and go within. Set out your crystals (black tourmaline, selinite, rose quartz, amethyst, etc.) near you. Ask for your spirit guides to be by your side to assist and provide comfort. Or call on the spiritual power that is of your faith. Ask for guidance and protection. Meditate first to create an inner calm. Concentrate on releasing and healing. Also, maintain an attitude of gentle, loving kindness. This is uncomfortable work. Gentleness is greatly warranted through this process. Take an herbal cleansing bath before or after as an extra measure towards releasing.

This can be done periodically. As we grow and develop, we uncover more of what we need to heal, transmute and let go.

Blessings of healing on your spiritual journey.

Rev. Mignon

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